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autistic - semi/non-verbal - adult

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stella pin

stella is young autistic adult w difficultys in lanuage & understand, but thinks is immportant share experience & life stuff! she wants evryone in world know they not alone & we better together! :3


  • mad mod (teen titans, 2003 tv)

  • robbie rotten (lazytown)

  • faerie stuff


  • conlanging & conscripting

  • sewing

  • drawing


  • minecraft

  • tomodachi life

  • stardew valley (just starting)


  • piti pati conlang (on hold)

  • unnamed personal conlang (like 1% :p)

  • mad mansion minecraft map (75%?)

stella just realise
def HAD weird dreams
but not remember atall...
most remember is was some type scavenger hunt

but also remember some point was sew w mad mod...
make sense cause stella was brainstorm sew while fall sleep... hehe

sometime wonder if ppl got questions abt how stella autie brain work
but then also stella feel like prob not got good words for answer so blaaaaah

farmers make all fields smell REAL weird today
not poop smell just WEIRD smell & stella hate but cannot get away from smell by open window cause open window is reason smell , but if close window then overheat

oh... not sure how feel abt stick bug meme cause think stick bug "dance" like that when scare or think need hide :(
hide in plain sight type thing where if move round lot when is windy, will look like just nother leaf

stella keep hear abt this stickbug meme but what is?? is just nother rickroll type thing??

make sense!
think might block if look like person get rude, want make sure friends feel safe here :)

stella just not want butt in & have more opinion than should as singlet w small question mark, if make sense? but think understand what mean
tried be friends w exclusive ppl too in past, but once find out stella got inclusive friends too, they get... weird, angry? & either cut stella off or try convince cut friends off

is place where not want say what "real" & what "not real" cause again, stella prefer believe what ppl say abt own experience & let them define... do that make "supporter"? dunno. does mean should block ppl who exclude? also dunno

is stella only one who like sound of cicadas

see stella just thinking abt how make pants & such wearable

& think best answer is drop crotch seam + make legs v baggy. like. "barely any touch skin" baggy

cause stella same way w tops ... need sleeves p specific & need lot room at shoulder/armpit. if sleeves not completly baggy, need em 1/4, full, or just none. if there any skin-hugging hem/cuff at 1/2 or 3/4, stella DIE.

so basicly stella would either need modify pants which sevral sizes too big or just MAKE em


stella npt sure what do cause seen few ppl now w dni for endogenic system & supporter

discourse is... not stella thing, & ultimatly not feel somewhere stella can weigh in? but got friends who plural & got variety of labels, not like want just cut off for a label. at end of day stella never want judge how ppl experience & label smth - even if personly not understand, they do, & stella think that most important.

just... dunno what do. should just block ppl who see like that, or leave em be? stella worry that maybe "take side" when should not

OK before do go

stella more or less complete mad mansion this point, just need run final tests, & that include bf >:) need outsider opinion to figure out if difficulty OK!
all need now is schedules line up so can play together >o>

babushka asked:

i had a thought of nonverbal magical girls and realised that most magical girls usually say the transformation/attack words out loud. however, they don't really need to say the names of the attacks in order for them to work, in Sailor Moon at least! I've read an article about how saying the name of attack is especially the "say, then do" principle which helps the magical girl to concentrate on her attack before doing it, and also to alert everyone that she's attacking. (but i might be getting it wrong)

is smth which always confuse stella!! always think seem like advantage for enemy, even small... atleast for repeat enemys, always think would make more easy record stuff - when person choose attack B over attack A, how counteract each one, etc etc

but those make sense!
stella wonder if nonverbal magical girl on team where evryone else speak might be seen "unpredictable", to enemy AND friend... esp cause even full verbal ppl got issue communicate in heat of battle & may need make snap decision/change of plan

stella feel chatty but more than chatty stella just feel kindof scare dreams will be mean again... if no sleep then dreams not mean cause not HAVE dreams

no kidding stella opinion on dubs vs subs is just, which got better captions?

if dub version widespread & got good quality captions, stella watch that
if no dub version exist or only find w/o captions, stella watch subs :P

most annoy thing is on netflix
if smth not originly english, & try watch w english audio + english subtitles, will NOT match up, cause subtitles made as direct translate of original language audio, not actuly captions of dub audio

good enough to watch translate subs but still kindof disappoint, sometime want experience dub version :(

guess answer to "what stella power/strength/weakness as magical girl?" depend on WHAT magical girl universe ... hmm

still, always crucial to be nonverbal >:)
stuff like truth magic posibly intrest then cause caster would need v specific ideas in mind ALREADY to get useful response, play 20 questions, or else be prepare accomodate
like "where is the thing" not answerable unless given map can point to :P

negative legend upload video on lolirock :O
maybe should try watch again, never finished first season ... & evrything he say do kindof intrigue stella !

stella dunno if there words for it already so propose terms innie laugh & outie laugh >:)
joke BUT also think fun talk abt so!

outie laugh: noise of laugh happens while release air, "normal" laugh
innie laugh: noise of laugh happens while suck in air
good example of innie laugh (ie. clean of rudeness) is here!

for stella ...
outie laugh happen if need quiet/small laugh, or else if forced/not real laugh
but BIG laugh & laugh where not need worry volume are innie!

I cannot do all the good that the world needs. But the world needs all the good that I can do.

Jana Stanfield

actual accuracy of this, stella unsure ... but mood w mad mod xP

one of thing stella hate is when want get rid of thing, but get told "must" keep cause was gift, or smth stella choose for self... years ago

not evrything stella ever got is super sentimental meaningful
& even if smth WAS, can change over time

abt 75% of stella problems as adult stem from fact stella often make some sort mistake/bad judgment while grow up, adults decide stella incapable & must be control, then decide since stella unable do thing (when never got chance learn!) must NEVER get chance try

nother 15% of stella problem is stuff ppl make worse just cause they selfish jerks who demand life happen their way regardless how hurt stella

last 10% is stuff stella would have issue of anyway & cannot be "fix" so much as accomodate & help

ableism, babes...

see see
for some time (longer than other kids) stella was on one of "safety leash" things
super uncomfy & awful experience, borderline painful, cause no one trust stella exist
& know what?
still got hurt lots. genral clumsiness, tripping, scraping, even minor burn...

ALSO... think kind of impaired stella ability process & recognise danger as grew up, cause always others decide for stella what danger & what not, but not ever explain... which in turn help fuel intrusive thoughts & fear, cause not understand what do & what not do, only know what happens if choose wrong & only get one chance to BE wrong... yea.

so stella know why not run into traffic, cars big & heavy & can do lot damage even if not kill, & theoreticly stella know should "look both ways", but realisticly stella not understand how far away car is, or how fast it go, or if stella got good time window to cross street, cause stella had all this decide FOR her growing up & yes, into teenhood too

restraint alone so super useless

things stella learn from teen titans (mostly mad mod)

  • "ai" also name for flower (persicaria tinctoria AKA japanese indigo)

  • stella got as good grasp on specifics of history as beast boy ( "this must be how george washington felt when napoleon beat him at pearl harbour" :P)

  • most ppl not understand meaning of ducky as petname & take it literal

  • realism of hypnosis -1/10

  • but AESTHETICS 11/10 >:3

  • if stella was trap by mad mod, would be either best or his worst nightmare. depend on perspective cause stella cannot be restrain but also just like harmless wander

anyway hmm weird dream of she-ra proportions, but only remember weird bits so hard piece together :( maybe can remember more & update later

smth abt mlp princesses, celestia got take over by smth & luna powerless, so cadance job to heal? was like... mind-controlly virus type thing. anyone infect got glowy red eyes

but umm a magic school? magic princess school? remember v in-sync twin girls w big lilac hair.. also smth abt sewing here, & think someone remark they grown quickly?? maybe like 13-14

& stella was like... main character? had some sort lair?/home? w light hope-type AI, like mentor/assistant/also deep down friend, but bc of virus from before she fight villain, villain try hurt her, & in effort save evryone, she kindof sacrifice self to send villain away... or like trap in virtual world? unclear, but either way, she no longer respond & just got this big glitch symbol stuck on screen

mad mod was there & he analyse, saying smth glitch/stuck in her programming itself cause physicly her shell & wires in good shape, he want try help & study but not sure how much able do... other ppl there w stella, & someone unknown pull stella off to side & say this all her fault, shoulda been there so this not happen, maybe stella coulda sacrifice self instead

... :(